10:31 AM EDT, June 16, 2011
Eternal hockey question: Do the Canucks’ many moronic acts on the ice spark their fans’ city-wide moronic acts off it, or vice versa?
Either way, you have to feel good that the dirty and stupid hockey team choked away its best chance at the franchise’s first Stanley Cup in a manner almost as excruciating and embarrassing as a hater like me could script.
Unfortunately, the dirty and stupid Canucks didn’t blow a three-games-to-none lead and a 3-0 lead in Game 7. That would’ve been sweet. The best.
But still, the dirty and stupid Canucks gagged a series in which they led two games to none.
And three games to two.
And had home-ice advantage for the final game.
AND got shut out.
And then suffered through the Boston Bruins’ parading the Stanley Cup around the Canucks’ ice in a series that turned on a Canucks cheap shot that finally earned a suspension after the NHL choked on so many other heinous acts.
Hope the Canucks got a look at Bruins goalie Tim Thomas, the Conn Smythe winner who was as perfect as the Canucks’ $10 million head case at the other end was flawed. Luuuuuuuuser.
It might not have been my perfect mean-spirited ending, but it was good enough. Hope it hurts up there.
One thing I know for sure: It hurts the stupid and dirty Canucks a lot more than Patrice Bergeron’s finger that cheap and gutless Canucks forward Alex Burrows bit in Game 1 of the series.
And then the fans rioted. Of course, they rioted. They’re the same fans who defend and rationalize suspendible acts by their “heroes.’’
So, they rioted and set fires and broke windows, generally marauding about the city streets acting as moronic as their “heroes’’ in uniform. One of the best cities in the world was getting torched by some of the biggest idiots in captivity.
The Blackhawks came close to inflicting similar unspeakable pain on the Canucks two months and four series ago. You know the story: down three-games to none, forced a Game 7, scored short-handed late in the third to tie it, got a power play early in overtime, then pffft.
The Hawks couldn’t complete the miracle. They couldn’t finish the utter humiliation of the Canucks. Their fans couldn’t revel in that.
But this feels pretty good, eh?