You're a Ravens fan and right now you're thinking: what in the world is going on in New Orleans?
Has everyone down there lost their minds?
Deer antler spray?
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Mercedes-Benz Superdome, 1500 Poydras Street, New Orleans, LA 70112, USA
Endless HarBowl hype with memories of John and Jim Harbaugh practically dating back to the womb?
Beyonce holding a news conference Thursday to talk about whether she lip-synched the national anthem at the presidential inauguration?
Is anybody even talking about the big game Sunday?
Actually, at times, it seems as if Super Bowl XLVII between the Ravens and San Francisco 49ers is almost an afterthought. And the Ravens haven't exactly been shy about yakking it up on non-game topics, either.
Ray Lewis, for one, keeps having to interrupt his "last ride" reverie to deny using — of all things — deer antler spray, which apparently contains a substance (IGF-1) banned by most major sports, probably because it sounds so ludicrous.
Bernard Pollard keeps insisting the NFL will be dead in 30 years if they keep making it a wuss league with all these rules changes where you can't even take a guy's head off anymore without drawing a flag.
And Joe Flacco, who's normally about as chatty as the repo man who's come to tow your car, has weighed in — sometimes with a poor choice of words — on everything from cold-weather Super Bowl sites to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to Art Modell getting into the Hall of Fame.
Hoo, boy. And it's only Thursday.
The thing is, it's not just the Ravens yakking about everything under the sun in the Big Easy.
How about the 49ers' Randy Moss saying he's the greatest receiver in NFL history? Better than Jerry Rice, better than Terrell Owens, better than Cris Carter, better than Michael Irvin. Better even than God, although Moss wasn't directly asked about that.
The Niners have also had to answer questions about their former teammate, defensive tackle Kwame Harris, who was charged with assaulting his ex-boyfriend after a riff that started with the boyfriend — stay with me here — pouring soy sauce on a plate of rice.
Sure, that's just the kind of thing you want to be addressing as an NFL player when your dream finally comes true and you reach the league's biggest stage.
Yet so much of it is just standard Super Bowl craziness, which breaks out every year at this time no matter which two teams are playing.
The fact is, it's often hard for players not to say anything stupid or controversial during Super Bowl Week.
Oh, they go there with the best of intentions. They go there fully briefed on the media hordes awaiting them and the need not to embarrass their team with dopey statements.
But then they get caught up in the circus atmosphere. Everywhere they go, a TV camera is winking on and someone's sticking a microphone in their face.
With so many opportunities to screw up and say something dumb, some players invariably do.